Bonehead's Paradise

Before heading into work this morning I had to make a stop at the Salt Lake City Airport to do some phone stuff. I generally dislike driving to the airport, but by staying away from the terminals I was able to have a fairly nice visit.  No crowds, no deadlines, and very few people on the road at that hour made for a nice morning – it was something different and I was getting paid after all.

As I left the Airport and began driving eastward toward Salt Lake, I could not help but notice the wonderful sunrise that was just beginning in earnest.  The upper level whisps of cloud were stained and saturated in pumpkin orange while the lower level clouds were thicker and darker against the impossibly orange sky.  The scene was one that could never be captured by camera because of the dynamic nature – the high clouds were rushing eastward while the lower clouds were taking a more leisurely route to the north-east – and thus the scene was changing faster than the eye could take it in.

This scene needed no accompaniment, but Richard Wagner’s Overture to the Flying Dutchman was playing in the car and it fit so well with the mood of the sky that I let it continue playing.  I believe that I will never hear that music again without thinking of a sunrise.

With ghostly-themed music and an orange sky, I was well treated on this Halloween.

My face has become a barometer for stress and fatigue and just as a barometer goes down with bad weather, so does my face.  Today I feel the stress in my sagging muscles of my face but I can not account for all the stress I am feeling.

Yes, I had a project designed and ordered when it was torn from me and re-done by a supervisor who ordered something that is not working.  That would not be so bad but everyone assumes it was my work now that it keeps breaking.  I place about 30% of my stress on this.  It would be more if it were actually my work, but as it is I don’t even have the access to fix it.

The only other unusual stressor from work is a lady in purchasing that is poking and prodding at another project that was designed, quoted, and even approved.  I don’t worry so much about this because I know she won’t find anything.  She is just wasting her time and mine but I do need the product now – trying to make do with what I have only increases my work load – and the frustration of the people requesting a product I can no longer deliver.  I would give 10% to this – an inconvenience really.

From the home side, there are the constant background stressors like kids, finances, health issues, and the regular dad stuff.  Really, how much stress can this provide when Carol is so good at taking care of it?  Things have been very stressful for her this past week, but I only get what tips over the top – maybe another 10%

So you can see that I can only explain away about half of the agitation that I am feeling but it is beginning to take a toll on me.  I felt earlier today as if I was only one unreasonable demand on my time away from walking out of here forever.  This, of course would be a foolish reaction because I need the flexibility to come in to work at 9:30 after dropping the kids to school and you don’t often find that at a new job.  After 13 years with the same company I don’t have to prove that I am a good employee or that they are going to get their money’s worth from me so I am stuck here by circumstance.

Somewhere I have a huge bucket of stress and that bucket is leaking.  Unfortunately the bucket is well camouflaged.  I need to find it because I feel very much like someone who has been up for two days and is keeping going only by sucking in vast quantities of caffeine. 

Yep, that describes my physical state pretty well.  I wish it were just sleep because I would know how to fix that.

   *  *

Why is it that children behave badly to get attention?  Why is it that these same children can grow up and think that it is acceptable to behave badly to get what they want?  I don’t understand where this gets started, but I have seen the results.  I think everyone has met someone who feels that they are above the rules or that they are somehow exempt from common courtesies. 

As you can tell, I have been thinking a lot about this and wondering what a parent should do with a child who acts this way.  I have plenty of ideas, but they are untested.  Maybe some of my readers have had some experience with this kind of thing and can give insight.  With eight kids you can expect any kind of behavior to show up eventually, and it is best to be prepared.

Read this story and let me know if I am way off: I know it works for dogs, but can you expect a child to respond as rationally as a dog?

Once, a man wandering the woods found two puppies that had been separated from their mother.  Perhaps the mother was a stray, perhaps she was a wolf – but it was obvious to the man that these dogs were mostly wild.  Still, he could not leave them in the cold so he arranged homes for the two dogs with two brothers in the town; each was given one dog.

These dogs were difficult to deal with and they were anything but housebroken.  They snapped, nipped, and growled constantly and both brothers received many hurts from their individual dogs.  Despite the behavior of the dogs, both brothers loved their dogs very much, but they had different ideas about what was best for them.

You see, the first brother took his dog as it was.  Yes, it growled, it snapped, it bit him almost constantly, but this brother accepted the dog with all its problems.  He was always saying “That is just the way he is.  He don’t mean nothing by it.  He can’t help that he had such a tough time living in the forest as a wee puppy.”  The dog would snap and the man would comfort the dog with hugs and treats from his hands.  Often as not this dog would bite the man as it was being fed, but it never stopped the love from flowing from them.

The other brother took his dog and treated it differently.  This brother insisted on good behavior from his dog, and this was something that the dog did not understand.  This man also got bit, but when he did – punishment immediately followed.  No sweet things were given to this dog when it growled and when it snapped it was shut away until it calmed down.  The dog was certain that the man hated it and the dog rebelled and ran away.  The brother would always find it, bring it home, and start over.

Eventually things changed.  Things always change after all.  For some reason both brothers were suddenly called away and both dogs were out on their own in the great big world again.  The second dog had learned to wag its tail and set its head on someone’s lap when it wanted attention, and it found food and lodging with a loving family within a few days.  This dog soon found the greatest pleasure was having children crawl all over it and love it in their energetic way.  The dog lived a happy and contented life but never thought to think of the sacrifices its first owner had made to allow it such peace.

Things were not so good for the second dog.  This dog also got hungry and lonely and it responded as it was taught – it snapped, it growled, it barred its teeth – but no one responded with a kind pat on the head; no one had a kind word and no food was thrown to this dog.  The more it asked in the only way it knew, the more it was shunned, hated, hunted and hurt.  This dog eventually found its way to the dump on the outskirts of town where it slept in the wet and fought rats for its meager dinner. 

Both brothers loved their dogs completely, but which one showed that love in a better way?

*  *

It was almost a year ago that I was introduced to Carol.  In preparation for this anniversary, I got sent a copy of my first e-mail to Carol – She had just sent me an e-mail to my previous blog account and I wasted no time replying.  As you read this e-mail, you will just have to remember that I called Carol Rebecca back then… it was a silly thing to do, but she did not seem to mind.  Remember that my mother set us up in cooperation with Carol’s sister.

I think I can publish this without asking permission – after all, I wrote it… but then again, I gave it to her…  What an ethical dilemma!  I will just take my chances.  Things are going so well between Reb... I mean Carol -  and I that I think I will be OK.

Rebecca,

I love your screen name!  Booksinger has a nice ring to it and if you love books and singing, I am interested in getting to know you.

Curiously, I just sent an e-mail to my mother asking if she had set up an introduction for us yet, so I am glad that you took the time to say hello today.  I must warn you that reading my blog can be dangerous because I don't think I can live up to the image I have built in this textual world.  The thoughts are mine, but they are the carefully cultivated thoughts that are worthy of being shared.  Beyond that, they are only shared at the peak of maturity.

I know almost nothing about you -- I know your sister as much as you might know someone after having taken a very few voice lessons from them, and I know that you have five children.  I assume that you know a bit about me (or think you do) from reading my blog.  The careful reader will notice that I gave my space a title that gives me plenty of flexibility when it comes to being truthful and I have been known to take creative license with the truth in the interest of provoking thought (or just to make a story better).  Oh, and if you read too much, it will leave nothing for us to talk about when we do meet.

I hope you use the name Rebecca because that is my sister’s name (she goes by Becky) and I have a niece with that name too (who goes by Becca), so other than perhaps ‘Reeb’, all the derivatives of Rebecca have been taken.  When I give a bit more thought to the idea, that would be a good joke to play on my sister to date someone with her name, and being her older brother (her only brother), it is my duty to tease her in any conceivable manner.

It is obvious that I don’t know what to say to you, so I had better quit.  I would love to get to know you by any means: E-mail, phone, lunch, double date… what ever will make you feel most comfortable.  I have tickets to the Symphony this Saturday, but that is an awfully long time to be stuck with someone if you immediately decide that you have no interest in me.  Your sister and my mother both think I am a pretty decent guy (at least comparatively), but that is a very small survey to base an opinion on.

Thank you for taking the initiative to say hello.